During the ordeal of Chucks' two hospitalizations I wrote poetry. He was fighting hard and I stayed at his side but was left with fears, questions, recriminations, anger, and helplessness. Hospital staff was there for him, visitors were there for him. I had friends come and I shared with them but there was usually so much information to transfer and I needed to be strong, to STAY strong. When the cracks in my resolve would seep in it would be he and I alone in his room, or as we were waiting for a test to begin/conclude, or rounds to begin/conclude, or nursing ministrations to begin/conclude. There were the many days when he was intubated and sedated, many hours looking at him, realizing the days were now numbered, that so much time had been squandered, that this mountain of a man was slipping from me, from this earth. The words poured out in poems fully formed as if I was a just a vehicle for them to arrive. ...
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Showing posts from July, 2017
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The Vows. A look backwards. When we stood before the preacher in front of God and the few we held dear on that October afternoon we recited the traditional vows to one another. I was so damn happy. I had found him! What were the odds? My age defied the odds, I was in my 40’s. Our backgrounds were completely different; no one we knew would have ever connected the two of us together. Even how we met defied the odds, driving north on a highway in a suburb of NYC, doing 80 mph on a September afternoon when the light slants golden from the west bathing everything in what the film industry calls “Golden Time” because it is fleeting and stunning. I noticed a black beefy sports car in my rear view mirror driving like I do. Fast and aggressive. I slowed down to get a gander at this person, when he pulled up along side me, he in the center lane, me in the left, I literally hurt m...